If I had to identify who I am from an ethnic perspective, I believe my story would be very complicated and incomplete because of the lack of family that I have on my father’s side and the lack of family history on my mother’s side. If I had to identify who I am from a perspective of the American social landscape, I would describe myself as a lower middle class black man struggling to understand what that really means in America.
From an ethnic point of view, many people ask about my background because my last name is Wing, but also because my first name is Ahmed. People constantly ask me if I have Chinese in my family. My response is typically “not that I’m aware of.” I get both my first and last names from my dad, Francisco Ahmed Wing, who identifies himself as a black Puerto Rican of Indian and African descent. My dad’s mom was Puerto Rican and his father was African from the country Morocco. Apparently my grandfather was born in India and migrated to Africa. I was told “Wing” is an Asian name because India is in the continent of Asia. My paternal grandfather, Ahmed Wing, came from a Muslim faith background so I’ve inherited the Muslim name Ahmed from my grandfather to my dad to me and now to my son, although my grandfather was the only Muslim by faith out of all of us. My paternal grandmother, Jacqueline Lattore, a fair-skinned Puerto Rican, was disowned by her family because she had a child with a black man; therefore my dad did not have any relationship with his family in Puerto Rico and was raised in Hell’s Kitchen in Manhattan. Both my dad’s parents died when he was young. His father died when he was five and his mother when he was 16 years old.
My mother’s side of the family seems simpler; my mom comes from Southern black parents both from a town call Santee, South Carolina. Both of my maternal grandparents have a limited amount of information on their family history because many of their ancestors did not have documented names, others were separated and relocated as a result of the slave trade. We are only able to go back about two generations beyond my grandparents. Having a Southern black heritage – with the probable mix of American Indian mix because of the high cheekbones and heavy presence of Indians in the nearby Santee – my mother’s side makes me feel like an American, for better or worse.
I say my ethnic history is incomplete because I have never seen a picture of my paternal grandparents. My dad has never seen a picture of his own father, and he hasn’t seen a picture of his mother in over 40 years. Needless to say, it is going to be hard to explain to my children about my family blood line because I only have half the story. When it comes to my mother’s side of the family, I feel my story is common. When you have ancestors who use to be considered chattel property, nameless or have adopted the name of the slave owner, generations of family history go missing and are likely unrecoverable because of the nature of the U.S. slave trade.
On a social and cultural landscape, I feel I have a better grasp on what I am as an individual. Although I’m mixed with various ethnicities, I identify myself as a black man. I identify myself as black for a few reasons. First, I am perceived as a black man, and people generally do not see the Puerto Rican or Indian in my bloodline. I have not embraced the Puerto Rican or Indian cultures through language, food or music. I have never even visited either place so I feel very disconnected from that part of my heritage. My dad seems to embrace his Puerto Rican roots through the language, music and food, but he was raised by a Puerto Rican so he has that connection that I lack. Second, my mother’s side of the family, which is very large, provided me with a means to identify with being black through the music, food, clothing and style, among other means of self-expression, which made it seem natural for me to identify as black.
I consider myself to be a lower middle class black man in America. My classification is not based on financial status but rather opportunity and education. I understand that there are some glass ceiling social limitations for blacks in America in general. I also understand with education, some of those limitations may be removed while others will remain. Being conscious of my blackness gives me great pride and power but it also makes me aware of racism and white privilege in America.
Ahmed Wing, G.O. Team: Dominican Republic
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