Being Authentically Dominican

When people ask me what I am, I immediately, without hesitation, respond saying "Dominican." but that would be a lie. I like to think that I am Dominican because I was conceived by Dominican parents and I was born there. A few summers ago, however, I found out that those facts were not enough to make me "fully" Dominican. "You left when you were a baby, that doesn't count. You might as well have been born there!" my friends and cousins teased as I sat with them on a porch on a warm summer night. There comments enraged me because I always thought of myself to be just as Dominican as they were. The rest of the summer was filled with more mockery and insults about what a gringa I was.

This upset me, in part, because they were right. Sure I do not need a tourist card to enter the Dominican Republic. Sure I grew up listening to Aventura, Antony Santos, and Juan Luis Guerra. Sure I consider plantains their own food group, live for baseball season, rock tubis out in public more times than I would admit to, think Vick's VapoRub is the cure to any illness known to man, and I’m probably still subconsciously scared of El Cuco. Is any of that enough to make me "fully" Dominican? Or am I some fraction thereof? Regardless of all the culturally relevant things I do, I have always battled with the idea that I wasn't Dominican enough. Deep down, even though I would never admit it or say it aloud, I know that I am Dominican-American.

My mother and I immigrated to the United States when I was only two months old. Although I grew up with a deep love, pride and respect for my Dominican roots and culture, I am also Americanized. I celebrate Thanksgiving. I drive a car, not a motorcycle. I have electricity twenty-four hours a day. I know how to take buses and trains, I am fluent in English, and I really, really like McDonald's. But is it really fair for them to think of me as a lesser Dominican because I was raised in the US? After all, I am a victim of circumstance. It was my parents' choice to move to the United States. It was my parents' choice to become naturalized citizens.

This is where it gets really confusing. Not only do the Dominicans in the Dominican Republic think of me as a lesser Dominican, but the Americans in the United States think of me as a lesser American. I am looked down upon because my parents never went to college and have regular, low-paying, blue-collar jobs. To white America, I am just another Hispanic girl chasing the American dream, working part-time and attending college in order for my family to progress. In order to make my parents proud and not regret their decision to leave everything they had ever known to give my siblings and me a better life.

The faces that I received in response to me telling people that I went to McNair Academic High School are still etched into my brain. They would open their mouth and eyes really wide and say "You got into McNair?" as if it was impossible for a person of my status to be intelligent. My senior year of high school, one of my teachers confessed to me that he would have never imagined that I was such a good writer based on my appearance. Years later, I am still processing what that means. Do I not look as smart as my peers because I am Latina? I did not know that a certain type of person looked more intelligent than another. Sometimes I feel as though I have to work harder to prove myself because my ethnicity is used against me; that it’s a hindrance rather than an advantage.

In the end, you are what you identify with. Nobody can tell you to pick a side or a culture. Nobody can tell you who you are. I choose to be proud of my Dominican heritage, my traditions, my cuisine, my music and my culture. I choose to keep my roots alive. I may never be as Dominican as those who live in the Dominican Republic, but Dominican identity should not be put on a scale. I will not let others make me feel as a lesser Dominican because I do not live there. I am blessed that my parents brought me to the US for greater opportunities, and I am eternally grateful for that. I am not against assimilation into American culture, because everybody wants to fit in. I admit that I have adopted American traditions and even an American way of thinking. So what am I? I am an American by circumstance and I am a Dominican by choice. I am both. 

Nelcida L. Garcia, G.O. Team: Dominican Republic